Following an invisible path

Often if you want to better understand something that you cannot study firsthand, you can monitor the changes that this something makes in the environment around it.

Think of the wind through the trees, across a wind vane or above the long grass of a field. Think of a fish just under the surface of the water. Think of the spirals of the stars as they're guided by gravity.

When I started this blog I had no idea what I wanted to use it for, it's purpose - if it even had a use or a purpose. A lot of blogs don't.

I'm not a lot of bloggers though. I'm different from the mass of people around me. Arrogant (and often incorrect) as that statement can be when presented in a poor fashion, I'd be foolish not to notice that it might apply to me if I analyze the choices I've made in life so far.

Besides, while I may be different from one mass I am sure to belong to another mass of people - I'm not a special snowflake but I'd like to know which cloud I should fall from.

This blog seems to be pointing in a vague sort of way, towards that metaphorical cloud. Maybe it just coincides with a new found enthusiasm for a goal I once had but gave up (as it wasn't an acceptable career choice in the circumstances I found myself in).

In any case, I'm writing a lot more. I've also got this idea that may be the first long work I create. I think I'll focus on this. I'll go through the trials and tribulations that come with being a writer and, when I remember, I'll document them here.

Snippets of story will find themselves here; Conflicts between this new project (which fills me with a passion my daily work can't hope to) and my current lifestyle/job will be documented; Doubts, self abuse and a feeling of inadequacy will be recorded. When I remember.

It seems like a lot of extra writing to go through when taking on a project that involves LOTS of writing, but I hope it'll be worth it. I can't risk NOT writing here given that the weave and warp of my mind seem more clear when I re-read my entries.

I think I'd be a fool to abandon this blog to pursue this new project. Doubly so given that this new project has a lot to do with the clarity that I think I've attained from writing the entries I've posted so far.